I love you

Dear Emily ~

My amazing little girl. What would life be like if you weren't here with us? I'd miss your giggles, humor, kisses, precious feet, heart grasping touches, and looking in to one of the most beautiful hearts I've ever met. You are so incredible.

You fall asleep against me, and I run my fingers through the little bit of hair you have. Run my fingers across your skin, feel your little fingers, and marvel of the pure magic of life that brought your little body together.... so perfectly. I've noticed two little birthmarks on your back. Angel kisses :)

Today Jennifer and I were talking about the blessings donors bring in to our lives, and she commented how very much your dad loves you and how obvious it is. Oh, how much he does Emily. When you're with him his eyes just sparkle and you can see the pride radiate from him. When we talk online about you, you can hear the pride in his words. You are so very much loved.

There's a moment of thoughts that creep across the magical bliss of love for you, and it's the moments that could have so easily taken you from us. I still wake up and check your breathing at night. A read last week about a mother who lost her infant son, she went to check on him sleeping and he had left this world :( I remember too clearly the panic and fear I wouldn't wake up to get you to take that breath. Each night I fell asleep terrified, and prayed.

Tonight I picked you up and you jumped up and down in my lap grinning - looked at me in my eyes and then leaned forward and gave me an open mouth kiss on my cheek. It took me a bit before I could muster up the ability to wipe away the dripping slobber :) and as I type this my heart just skips in love. Tonight you also stuck your tummy out for tummy kisses - oh such cuteness!

I look behind me and Alyssa is curled up with you. She took you from me and asked me if I could turn on some music. You curled into her on her shoulder and fell asleep. Now the two of you are laying together, sleeping, on the pillow. She loves you so very much, and without doubt you can see all the love you have for her too.

Sweet dreams my little Emily.