As I type this, you're behind me sleeping on the bed while I am sitting here pumping for Gia. You are so perfect and beautiful, and seem to be getting more so every day. Your cheeks appeared to be more filled, and you're undoubtedly getting bigger. You look bigger. Also, your newborn onsies don't really fit anymore - you've moved on up to 0-3mo items. There are some 3mo that you're able to wear also.
The only challenge your facing right now is a diaper rash, but even then you don't complain about it. What you wish for most, always, is to be held close in someones arms. I don't seem to get much done, and I'm still learning how to balance your (and my) desire to be close, but I'm just fine with this. I'll get the hang of it all soon. Each moment I am cherishing being with you.
It still breaks my heart when you end up crying when I'm driving, there's nothing I can do but get to where I need to be so I can take you out and hold you close. You seem to understand this and quiet down fairly quickly, although I find great comfort that one of your sisters is sitting next to you talking to you. I've strapped in your seat base just inside the van door so I can always reach back and touch you if I need to. For me, this brings me comfort. Today, with all the errands I ran and the hot temperature, you were incredible - such a perfect baby.
It's been said in the surrogate community that every time an intended parent looks at their child they think of their surrogate. I didn't doubt this before, but to experience it is something different. Each time I hold you, I feel great thanks in my heart to your dad. Last night you fell asleep on my chest, and as I stroked your hair.... your arm.... felt your feet and ears... I felt such gratitude to the man that helped you join our family. Today, as you looked at me with your beautiful eyes and talked, I thanked him. Every moment I find myself so grateful. You are so deeply loved, Emily. Alyssa, a handful of times today, came up and kissed you and said, "I love her so much".
I can't imagine our family without you. Thank you for being my daughter.... and for being the most perfect littlest sister :)
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