Julie-Julie

Dear Emily -

You were able to visit "Julie-Julie", as your sisters call her, today as we once again headed back to the river. You are still on your "gotta be with mom" phase so you fussed of course, came back to me to nurse, and then headed back to her again. She's not one that's too keen on pictures, but was able to get a few. You'll really enjoy knowing her as you grow, she's a pretty neat person! She was there when your big sister, Katie, was born.

First horseback ride!

Who better then to give you your first horseback ride, then Auntie Kate!

We went out to see Kate ride today... temptation was just too great, and the horse she was on is extremely gentle. You loved it!! Another horse woman possibly??

A few more handful of firsts!

Dear Emily ~

Today as I held you, ran my fingers over you, and kissed your little head, tears overwhelmed me again. I am so in love with you, Emily. Your spirit is incredible. I've been trying to think of words to explain the type of person you feel to me, and all I can come up with is to close your eyes and imagine being gently embraced under the warm sun. I love holding you and having you close. Today in the store you charmed the cashier with your talking and smiles. You melt my heart, my little one.

Yesterday was a busy day for us! You visited your first water park, as we got together with a few friends for a BBQ. It's a simple park close by. You weren't too sure of the spouting water - although you love showers, not cold ones! lol -

Yesterday we visited "Julie's Beach", and you felt your first cool water envelope your feet and legs. You weren't too sure of it at first!

One of the sweet things you do, is wanting to hold something in your hand. When you're on my shoulder you tend to grab my shirt and pull yourself close. When you're nursing you hold on my shirt and hold it close to your face. As you slept in my lap yesterday, you held on to my thumb. You have quite a grip too! I wonder if you'd enjoy a little soft blanket to hold on to?

Following the water park we headed out to the next town over to see a friend. This was your second time with your feet really in the sand, and you LOVED it! You just watched your little feet and dug your toes around. You amaze me.

Auntie Kate, and she delightfully dubbed herself and I'm holding her to it, took you down to the river so she could put your feet in... another first for you. You weren't too sure of the COLD water! LOL

Little Beauty

Yearly Stopover at Cousin Molly's grave

Every year I drive down to Salem to drop my son off with his dad (midway meeting point). With my cousin passing away 20mo ago, these last two years I've made it a point to stop by and visit with her husband as well as Molly's grave on my way back up. It's been a very special time, where we can share stories of Molly. My daughters really miss her, especially Alyssa since the two of them were so much alike in Spirit. I miss her.

Molly knew about my dreams of having Emily, I shared them with her a handful of years ago as well as how I hadn't found the right donor yet and still continued to search. She'd share her own dreams children, and share sad stories about how she felt as though she failed as a mom to her own son :( I wish she had a chance to meet Emily in person, but don't doubt she knows her in spirit.

I am so thankful I gave Emily Molly's birthname, Michele. A very very special name, that although she went by Molly after her parent divorced when she was a very young girl (mom left with her), "Michele" as her birthname given to her by her dad. A dad who loved his daughter so much, and still does.

Aunt Karen visits!

One of my most favorite photos - Dad, Aunt, and Emily

Aunt Karen and Emily

I met Aunt Karen, who came visiting from China, two weeks ago. It was her first time meeting Emily. What a sweet person! Dad and I needed to go sign the birth certificate papers a few blocks away at a notory, and my heart clenched when he suggested leaving Emily with his sister. I knew she'd be fine and safe, but I suppose where I'd have no concern with Emily with her dad, it was different with his sister since I'd never seen her with Emily before. But we headed out, and all three of my girls stayed with Aunt Karen and her 16yo daughter. And, of course, Emily was just fine when we returned... cooing on the bed :)

They brought gifts for Emily from China. Some baby clothes, that are now hung in my closet waiting for her to grow in to them, some stomach covers, money in a red envelope, and the most beautiful piece.... a large silk blanket that goes on top of the bed. It's so beautiful! I hope to keep it packed away until Emily is old enough to have it on her own bed. Maybe we can take some photos with it a part of the picture too :)

We all got together another time - to visit the museum of flight and for lunch. I remember when I use to get together to visit my surro-daughters, the feeling of wanting to hold them the entire time. With this memory, I pass Emily off to her dad as soon as I arrive and as soon as she's done nursing. I want him to be able to absorb every part of his time with Emily as he can. I really enjoy watching the two of them together - I am so proud of her dad. Emily is so very lucky, so are my other children and I. Her dad is such a blessing to our family. I feel such gratefulness to him, not just for what he gave so Emily could join our family, but the obvious love he feels for her and surrounds her with whenever we get together.

Emily so obviously loves being with her dad

I hope before Aunt Karen has to head home, that Emily will be able to have some more time with her. Today I printed off some pictures to give to her and her daughter to take back with them to China. What a wonderful family. Aunt Karen's daughter, although very excited to meet Emily, is quite shy. I hope to be able to give them more time together before they have to leave. I'd love to be able to foster a pen-pal type relationship between the two of them with her being so far away.

Nine Weeks

Dear Emily -

You're nine-weeks-old today. As I type this you're asleep on my chest with your head buried against my neck. We just got out of the shower, one of my most enjoyable times with you. I quickly shower and then sit on the floor and bring you in with me. I love sitting there with you, holding you close, talking to you, and just enjoying that quiet moment where all that can be heard is the sound of the water. Tonight I watched you briefly sleep in my arms as the water ran over you, and thought about how you were curled up inside of me not too long ago. As you woke you kept raising your foot up to the water - feeling that the sole of your foot was too sensitive to the falling water, you changed angles with it but kept raising it up. Sitting you up, I talked to you - you smiled and "talked" back - just the two of us together. I watched the beads of water run over your face, your tongue catching what came off your lips, and watched you make purposeful actions such as pushing something away and rubbing your eyes.

Taken July 23rd... 6 1/2wks

And now, here you sleep. My fingers brushing along the bottom of your feet, your toes curling and grabbing my finger as I pass by them. My chin rests over your soft head, with occasional kisses and breathing in that most amazing baby smell.

Oh Emily... ever day I fall more and more in love with you. I still continue to experience those tears of deep thanks to your dad, every time I look at you I think of him. I don't really ever expect this to go away, nor do I think I want it to. I am so thankful. And thank you to you also, my beautiful little one, for choosing me as your mom. I love you so much.

Nine Weeks

8 1/2 Weeks

** For eight weeks, Visit with Aunt Karen

Seven Weeks, 10lbs 8oz

Six Weeks