Today was the first day since Shawn flew out, a few days after insems, that we've all seen him since he arrived back into the country not too long ago. I look at myself in the mirror this morning and remarked to myself how big my already large stomach has expanded these last few days.
It was wonderful though. Awkward in a way at first - here is this man, who's child grows inside of me, who I've only talked over online chat with since mid-September! LOL That feeling passed fairly quickly :) Although I wonder if that's how intended parents feel at first when getting together with their surrogate who they have only had email contact with, for an ultrasound or such.
Talk about heart melting - to see how easily Jennifer's daughter settled into his arms and showed obvious adorations of him. To see his softness towards her. I watched Kaitlynn in his arms and though about this baby that will be here soon.....
With all of my other pregnancies, including the three I carried for others, never has the man shown interest beyond a quick poke and acknoledgment at the child growing inside. Shawn though, showed such sweet interest, and was able to feel this baby's little bottom and head. Jennifer tried to get the little one to move and wiggle around but no luck. I felt a kick backwards towards my spine, but that was it. Shawn, patiently waited and felt, it was sweet.
Lunch was so delicious!! A wonderful time visiting and chatting, and more amazement - how this guy handles all the commotion of kid noises, more plates of food needed, while water is spilt by a 3yo, all while carrying on a conversation with two moms. It's impressive! He definitely fits within this family and circle of friends, LOL
Off to the microsoft visitors center, and to meet another one of his friends. The kids were in absolute heaven playing games, and Jen was able to go over questions needed for her school assignment.
The next place we went, I stood watching this man in just awe. Such giving and kindness... thoughtfulness.... even sitting here typing this I feel such appreciation towards him for who he is, as well as bewilderment - I'm in awe.
I see a part of me in all of my children, all that carry a part of me, and I watch this man and wonder if this baby will carry this kind quality that his dad carries. It feels like it, this is the most gentle and soft baby I've ever carried. I watched my son with him, and am thankful to Shawn for being such a wonderful role model around my son, Jonah, whenever he's with us. Where men seem to carry such "macho" behaviors, I hope Jonah can mature seeing that kindness and gentleness is the way to treat and talk with others.
At the end, Shawn handed out gifts to everyone that he brought back from China. My heart melts all over again, for his thoughtfulness. On our way back towards home, Jonah and I were talking. Talking about my choice for a donor, about what I like in Shawn, how it wasn't the time frame I knew him in but what my gut felt...... and he pointed something out....
"Mom, what was so amazing to see, is his obvious love for this baby. His facial expressions, and how much he cares...... it makes me almost cry" and he wiped his eyes.
I am thankful that Shawn came in to our lives. Thankful to him for giving our family the most precious gift, a part of himself so this baby could join our family. This baby is so lucky, he has the most wonderful dad I could ever imagine a child having.
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