31w2d

I sit here at 31w2d, absolutley exhausted. I twirl in the chair, side to side, trying to eleviate the pressure on my lower back. I wrap wrap my hands around my swollen stamach, and smile - thinking about the little one growing inside. Getting down on to the ground is difficult, as is standing up. While moving the chair, I can feel the little one inside moving - little feet and hands pushing slightly. It's a lovely feeling.

I'm exhausted, but so happy. For the last few weeks a friend, Jen, and I have been working hard to make the property look nicer. To seperate the garden area from the dog area, to trim the house with landscaping wood, to plant raspberries, grapes, strawberries and trees, build raised beds, and plan what is to come next. I've found myself flustered if a day goes by where I'm not working, it feels like a wasted day. If I sit too long in the house, I become exhausted and wanting to lay down and sleep. Even though it's difficult to get up and down, to work my body and do things to improve the property, my body feels so much better. Everything is still difficult, but physically and spiritually I am so happy and peaceful.

I have been thinking more about the day of the birth, a time that could be arriving anywhere between 6-9 weeks from now.... probably closer to 9. How this little baby I feel moving around so softly inside, will finally be in my arms. It's a sweet feeling. I think about the first moment that Shawn touches his child, and this baby rests in his arms.... and is able to hold a child that came to be from his giving and generousity - I will always love him for this. I think about my children, how they've waited so long for this baby - and think about them holding this child.

Not too much longer. Each day I'm grasping at to get things done though. Not only do I need to have the garden going so we can freely eat an abundance of fruits and vegetable this year if we're lucky and things grow well, but having an infant does take up a lot of time and it's this child where my focus will be.

Little One. I think I'm still in quite disbelief that s/he's really coming.

The challenge of moving, difficulty breathing, exhausting easily, swollen and tired foot, and multiple trips to the bathroom in a short period of time... are all reminding me that it really is true :)

Yesterday had me rolling my eyes and chuckling. Jen and I went to Home Depot to pick up some items that she needed. When leaving the house, I took a HUGE container of water with me. I woke up quite thirsty. I ended up guzzling the water, and not 30min later I was waddling as quickly as I could to the bathroom - "Are you serious?? That's IT???" - and yet not 20min later, back to the quick duck waddle to make it in time again, to only repeat the feeling of frustration that such a small amount needed to come out. A few more potty trips later, the time came to leave home depot. Back home, another potty break, and another again.

Swear my bladder is the size of a pea. Kisses to sweet baby who's not playing trampoline on it like past children have. I love this child's sweetness already :)